21 Of My Most Powerful And Important Life Lessons Anyone Should Know
Have you ever stopped to wonder how many life lessons we must continue to endure? Is it possible to simply live life without learning anything more than what we already do?
Our entire life is made up of lessons, like chapters in a book. Lessons that have been taught to us and those we’ve had to learn on our own. Lessons we enjoyed learning and lessons we wished we could forget. Lessons we will pass on to our children and others we will take to our grave and of course the many more lessons we will continue to have throughout our lifetime.
Can you recall the lessons you’ve learned to date? If you are a seasoned individual you may have encountered some life lessons that some of us may never experience. Those are the lessons that we should share with others. Some lessons are passed on from generation to generation and become almost ritual in a sense. For instance, my Mama taught me how to cook, and more specifically she taught me to cook food that I could then make for my own family in hopes that the lessons would live on. Those are some great life lessons that I don’t mind sharing but just like all of us, I’ve also endured lessons I’d rather not repeat.
The Significance of Life Lessons
Do you have lessons that you would rather not share with your family, friends, and children? There was a time that I thought I would never want to share such lessons with my family but I’ve come to realize that they are not life lessons if they are not shared. If you keep them to yourself, they become distant memories when in fact they can become lessons to teach future generations.
All of our experiences whether good or bad are considered life lessons especially if they teach us something in return. A bad experience is a life lesson because it can teach us how to make better decisions and choices. The main reason I share this with you today is to remind you that we all have experiences in our lives; if we didn’t our lives would be boring and mundane. The experiences we encounter are all part of our lives and therefore life lessons.
Sharing Lessons
Of course, it’s easy to simply focus on the great experiences and pass those on to our family and friends but remember that the bad experiences may be more meaningful. It’s amazing what we learn from the bad experiences and keeping them to ourselves would simply be selfish. Think back to what you would consider a life lesson and share it with your family and friends. You’ll be surprised how many people you can actually teach from the great experiences and the silly ones too.
Don’t keep it to yourself..open up your book of life and share those lessons with others. Each and every one of us has experienced important life lessons that have provided us with the power and wisdom to alter the course of our lives.
I am sure that actually, you are starting to come to a realization that there are a lot more things to learn about life than the things you were taught in school alone.
In my path of personal discovery over the past few years, it has become apparent to me that many of my beliefs were formed at a young age – likely before I was 10. There have been a number of studies that have concluded that our beliefs are formed when we’re young when our subconscious mind is taking everything in before our conscious mind has developed and we begin to question things. So many of the life lessons that we pick up in our formative years stick with us our entire lives, even when they don’t serve us.
Reasons Why We Do Not Learn Life Lessons
The importance of learning life lessons can not be understated. It is my experience that if you do not learn from the lessons that life is trying to teach you, then they will be taught to you again and again until you do. A fundamental cause of much suffering and unhappiness is people’s unwillingness to learn from mistakes, either their own or the mistakes of others. History is full of examples of people that kept making the same mistakes because they failed to learn from the lessons that life was teaching them. There are two main reasons why this happens over and over again: ego and fear.
Control Your Ego or It Will Control You
Excessive pride and arrogance caused by an out-of-control ego have been the downfall of many great people. The strong sense of self-confidence and tenacious determination gained from having a big ego can certainly help in life, but it is the negatives that will inevitably cause self-destruction.
Once your ego grows large you lose perspective, the ability to see different sides of arguments. You think that you can do no wrong and always have to be right. You will go to almost any length to prove that you are right and ignore any facts to the contrary. You will develop a superiority complex and treat others badly. It is at this point you will drive others away and begin to lose everything you worked so hard to accomplish.
You must always keep an open mind so you can see all sides of an issue. Some of the hardest and best life lessons are learned when you are thoroughly convinced about something but then see it in a different light and change your mind.
Fear Is A Powerful Master
Perhaps the most common reason that people do not learn from life lessons is fear. This is because applying what you learn from life lessons is really about change, and change scares the hell out of people. They are so afraid of leaving the familiar that as each new opportunity presents itself they let it pass by, no matter how much it would improve their life.
People become so wrapped up in their personalities and who they think they are; they think that change is impossible. “That’s just who I am”, is what you will hear often. This is said out of fear because the person who said it does not want things to change. They want everything to stay the same because it is comfortable and known. The truth of the matter is that change is the only constant in life. That is why being flexible and having the ability to roll with the punches are such important life skills to have.
The Foolish, The Smart, and The Wise
The foolish are those who never learn from their mistakes. They are best avoided until they accept personal responsibility for their actions.
Smart people learn from their own mistakes, not always the first time but sooner or later they see the error of their ways.
Wise people learn not only from their own mistakes but also from the mistakes of others. While the old proverb that experience is the best teacher is certainly true in some areas, learning from other people’s mistakes can save you a lot of time, pain, and disappointment.
The more lessons you learn, the more traps and pitfalls you can avoid as you make your way through life. With wisdom comes better life choices, and by making better life choices you will have a more positive outcome for your life.
It’s important to understand that they are ‘experiences’ that will play out in our lives time and time again until we take heed of the lessons and learn from them.
It’s true for many of us that our most notable life lessons are during times of struggle and adversity.
Such experiences are inevitable, but it’s more often the case that these kind of events enable us to learn more about ourselves, other people, and life in general.
It brings us new insights into the workings of our environment and provides opportunities for personal growth and continual development.
21 Most Important Lessons
Here are 21 of the most important and powerful life lessons that I have come across, and I am pretty sure that you will not have learned them in school. Take note of these simple yet profound lessons in mind, and I guarantee that your life will change for the better!
1. Master the art of showing up.
You just have to put yourself out there in the world for others to see and appreciate you. You have to leave your fear and insecurity behind and begin to walk the journey which is your life. Only by taking the first step (and then the next and then the next) you are able to get where you want to go.
Are you scared? Show up.
Are you poor? Show up.
In her book The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People, Rachel Wilkerson Miller said that “showing up is what turns the people you know into your people. It’s at the core of creating and maintaining strong, meaningful bonds with friends, family, coworkers, and internet pals. Showing up is the act of bearing witness to people’s joy, pain, and true selves; validating their experiences; easing their load, and communicating that they are not alone in this life.
2. Your health is the most important thing in life.
We all only have one body that we will be using for maybe sixty to eighty years, for the rest of our lives. Thus, our lives are directly linked to our health, and we should safeguard our personal health just like how we should do so with our lives. What this means is do not indulge in activities that will damage your health in the long run, such as eating a lot of junk food or having an inactive lifestyle. Feed your body with proper nutrition and maintain a well-balanced lifestyle and you will be able to have a good healthy life.
3. One must give in order to get.
The main reason why a lot of people are unhappy in life is that they are lazy and expect to be able to get something out of nothing. In life, it just does not work this way. One will only receive according to the quality and quantity of the services or products they provide, and this is true in every area of your life, be it relationships, career, health, or your financial life.
4. Wanting to be right most of the time does not build relationships.
Nobody is perfect, and everybody makes mistakes. The best way to build a strong and good relationship with other people is to try to understand them and also get understood by them. Getting into useless disputes and arguments over who is right or wrong does not serve any purpose at all. Focus on accepting each other’s flaws and understand that it is normal for everybody to make mistakes.
5. Always live in the moment.
Your future is determined by your efforts ‘now’, not what you did yesterday or what you intend to do tomorrow.
This moment is all we have. It is all that is guaranteed. The past is finished. The future is unknown. We have no control over either. Yet we waste so much time and energy worrying about the future and fuming about the past. Let it go. Live for this moment. Enjoy what is happening right now. Make plans, but don’t live for tomorrow. Live for today.
As you wake up each morning, be grateful that you are given another day to learn more lessons. You are given more chances to get on track, to live more honestly and openly, to love more, and to give more. Then set your mood for the day, by holding your hand over your heart and thinking about 4 things that make you feel warm inside: the smile of your two-year-old, the roses growing in your garden, snorkeling in Maui, a hug from your mother. This is living in the present. Experiencing emotions. Loving others. Giving of ourselves. Being who we are meant to be. Living our truth. Noticing what is around us. Being grateful for all that we have. Knowing that all is well. If tomorrow doesn’t come for us, we can be ready for that, by living each day at the moment.
6. Don’t let your life circumstances determine your happiness. Instead, your happiness will determine your life circumstances.
When people are thinking about how to find happiness they often think the answer lies in something external to them. They believe happiness can bring in a new item, a new situation, or a new person. What they fail to realize is that happiness is not dependent on external factors, it is entirely internal. Happiness is a choice.
Things outside of ourselves can please us and even bring us joy for a while. We feel happy if we get a new job, start a new relationship, or get a new car. However, if we really want to know how to find happiness, we should not look to these passing events as the source of perpetual joy. As the novelty of these new ‘things’ wears off so the newfound ‘happiness’ also subsides.
Instead of asking how to find happiness, decide to be happy right now. You can start by appreciating that life is a gift. Every breath we take is a blessing. Every
day we experience enriches us. An attitude of gratitude is the first opening to the door of happiness. When we make a conscious decision to give thanks for our lives and everything in it, we cannot fail to feel happier.
7. Learn to be grateful every day.
Appreciate where you are in at this moment. You don’t have to have much, just be grateful. Appreciate the people you see today, the people you see no more, just be grateful to have known them.
For every bad experience, you have had, replace it with a pleasant memory, and be grateful. If you are afraid to love again, dig deep in your heart, and remember that feeling, and be grateful. Remember what it felt like? Remember how happy you were? Be grateful for that feeling, just know that you can feel that feeling again and you deserve to feel that way again! But first, you have to be grateful that you have known what it ever felt like to feel love.
For all you have, for all you have not, be forever grateful. For all the hurt and all the pain, be grateful. For all the lessons learned and for all who have taught, be grateful. To all who have snickered, sneered, smirked, or winced, be forever grateful. To all who have loved me dear, be forever grateful. Gratitude is one of the most effective ways to find happiness and contentment.
8. Avoid procrastinating.
If you have found yourself putting off tasks that are important until a later time or finding that approaching deadlines bring a sense of anxiety and stress then you may have an issue with procrastination.
Follow your dreams and take action. So, first, why do you procrastinate? Well, most people procrastinate out of an emotional need for something. For instance, many people procrastinate on their dreams out of a fear of failure because if I never try, then I never have to say I failed-I can always say, “I could have done it if I tried.”
There’s also the person who procrastinates out of fear of success: if you succeed, then who knows what’ll happen? If you succeed, then other people are going to try to take advantage of you, your friends won’t like you, people will only like you for your money… This is an even more lame excuse to waste your life; however, it was my excuse for a long time.
It is also important to look at how you organize your time and your tasks. Some common reasons for the poor organization include underestimating the amount of time that a task will require and underestimating the importance of tasks that need to be accomplished. You may find it helpful to use a list system where you list the tasks that need to be accomplished according to priority. The most important tasks and those that should be accomplished the soonest should be listed at the top of the list. This method will help you to avoid forgetting tasks as well as put them off until a later time.
9. Never be afraid to make mistakes.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, they truly are the way that we learn. If we never make any mistakes then we’re obviously not trying BIG enough things! If we’re not making any mistakes then we’re not stretching enough and giving ourselves a chance to expand to our fullest potential. Sorry, but BIG, notable accomplishments reside in the land of mistakes. You only make it BIG in this world if you’re brave enough to travel to and through the land of mistakes.
If success has come too quickly for us then when the opportunity comes around to actually do something of significance we tend to fail, fall, and then flee. After we catch our breath from failure and fleeing we then tend to tell ourselves that that was too painful and we’ll never do that again. Those who are not used to failing and making mistakes tend to quit when things get tough because their whole identity is tied up into being someone who is smart and doesn’t have to try too hard to succeed. This short-sighted identity is a disaster waiting to happen.
Mistakes fast-track our learning and significantly contribute to our future success.
10. Learn to focus on the positive.
What we focus on expands and gets attracted into our life. So remember to ALWAYS focus on what you want, and never on what you don’t want.
Guard your thoughts. Focus on the good, uplifting, and positive in everything. Flee from negativity. If we only knew how powerful our thoughts were, we would be so much more diligent in what we think and believe. Scientific research in Quantum Physics has demonstrated that if we focus positive thoughts on the water as it freezes, the result will be beautiful intricate ice particles. Prayer is focused thought. Meditation and visualization are all based on focused thought.
Thinking negatively creates disease. Bitterness, anger, and resentment show on a person’s face in wrinkles and vacant eyes (where is their soul?) and in their body in arthritis, heart attacks, and cancer. Please, for your own health, let go of negative thinking. It is a habit that can be broken if you are determined to be free.
It takes 21 days to change a pattern, so over the next 3 weeks try to change any negative thoughts into positive ones. Or simply notice when you think negative thoughts about something or someone and consciously say to yourself: “There’s another negative thought. Let it go.”
Read the book The Power of Positive Thinking: 10 Traits for Maximum Results by Norman Vincent Peale. Eventually, you will learn to think more positively. And you will notice a change on your inside: you will feel better, happier, lighter, and more buoyant. You might even laugh more. Perhaps you will live more in the moment. Experiment with positive thinking and see what happens. You just might be surprised.
11. Learn not to judge.
We have no right to make a judgment of anyone, including ourselves. We do not know what the other person is learning on their journey, or what they are here to teach us on our journey. Sometimes the most annoying, frustrating person in our life teaches us our greatest lesson. It takes a lot of sand and grit to create a pearl.
When we look at others and judge them, we are judging ourselves. They are mirroring what is going on in us. When we don’t want to accept the shadow side within ourselves, we point our finger at others: “Look at her! How can she do that? How can she be so selfish?” By projecting our hate and judgment outwards, we avoid and deny the reality inward.
So, let go of judgments. Set yourself free. As you reign in judgment, you will feel free. Each time you make a judgmental statement or have a thought about someone else (or yourself), just remind yourself to let it go. Replace it with silence or a positive thought or statement. See how it makes you feel. At first, it will seem strange, but as you break the habit of judging, you will feel lighter, freer, and more positive, and loving.
12. Accept who you are.
You look around and realize that you are not the same as other people. You may realize that someone else looks better than you. You may see that someone else has better clothes than you or is in a better physical shape. Those differences occur because we are all different people. We were made differently and we need to realize that we are different so that we can love each other’s differences. If we were all the same, where would the fun be in that?
Having a positive attitude about life is easier said than done. Some people may have a negative attitude about life because of past experiences. Others may have a negative outlook because things in their lives never turn out their way. Those people might hate who they are and desire to be like someone else. They may give up hope and decide to end it all. Ending it all is a very bad thing to do because that person who ends it all could have been successful; he/she could have saved lives, yet took his/her own.
In order to increase self-esteem, and thereby prevent suicide, one must accept himself/herself. The first step in learning how to accept yourself is learning how privileged you are. Some people think their situation is the worst situation. However, through one perusal of the news, one might find out that his/her situation is nothing compared to other people around the world. Another way to start accepting who you are is by learning your history. Ask your mom or dad about your past. If they don’t know, or if you cannot find out that information, try to find out information about your own history. Good or bad, learn how to appreciate your history or heritage.
Who you know, where you were born, what genes you have, and how much money you have will not determine what you’ll achieve in life anyway. Your destiny is in no one else’s hands but your own.
13. Don’t be too critical of yourself.
It’s admirable to do your best and attempt to be the finest individual you can be. It just makes sense to examine your unfavorable results in life and aim to do better the next time. But it’s also very easy to become too self-critical. A high level of self-criticism is destructive to your success and good psychological health. Extreme self-criticism harms your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Realizing our mistakes are okay, in fact, we need that to learn and grow. But too much self-criticism has many untoward effects: we are never pleased with our achievements, we are paralyzed, we do not forgive others, we invest too much time criticizing ourselves.
You’re undermining yourself by being excessively self-critical. You restrict both your success and your state of mind. Understand just how much you damage yourself with self-criticism. Learn from your errors and apply the information with enthusiasm.
There are lots of people who’ll be more than willing to do that for you. Don’t add yourself to the list.
14. Learn to forgive.
Leave the past behind. If you want forgiveness, then forgive others. I’m sure you have needed forgiveness at one time or another. You have wronged someone, hurt them or spoken harshly, treated someone coldly, or turned away and then felt bad, guilty maybe, and wanted their understanding and forgiveness. Do the same for others. They are human too. Yes, there are situations when it is harder to forgive, like abuse as a child.
But the opposite of forgiveness is holding on to anger, resentment, and bitterness. Lesson 6 talks about negative thoughts and how they can fester within us and create illness. This is what you need to let go of. This is why forgiveness is necessary. The consequence to yourself is too great not to forgive.
15. Get a big perspective in life.
Often we worry and stress about the least little thing. Look at the bigger picture, let go and move on.
What is the big picture? The big picture is when you realize that you have so much value to offer the people around you and the world. The big picture is also what drives you.
The bigger your dreams are, the more scared you will be. Why is that? It is because of the amount of work needed to accomplish them. Yes, you will need to work a lot, but hey, what good things come easy? If you want great results, be willing to put in the work, energy, sacrifice, and everything else so you can be proud of the results. Never think small as you will only experience small insignificant results. Leave that for others who are too afraid of their own shadow.
Dream small and you will see small results. Think big, grow big, and accomplish more in your life.
16. Learn to love.
See the spark of light within yourself and every person you meet. We are exquisite. If only we could catch a glimpse of how amazing we are in the spirit! Try looking deeply into someone’s eyes and see if you can sense their soul. The eyes are the window to the soul. The more you look, the more you will see the goodness within. Whether it is the beggar on the street, a child playing in the park, or an old man in a nursing home, the beautiful, the deformed, the smart, the mentally disabled, the overweight, the anorexic, the schizophrenic — whoever it is, whatever their shell, deep within them is a soul. This is what we are asked to love. It may not be easy to love the unkempt beggar, or the grumpy old man, but look for the soul within them and love that. Recognize that they took on a difficult task, choosing to come into this world in their present form and live a life with obstacles and challenges that you or I do not have to endure.
- Never please everyone, don’t bother trying.
With billions of people residing on this planet, you will never be able to please everyone. The moment you try to please one set of people, you are upsetting another set of people. You turn around to try to get the votes of those you upset, not only will you be upsetting the first set of individuals, you will be upsetting a new crowd. Then you try to reach out to the new crowd to get them to like you, but you will now be alienating the popular crowd. Next thing you know, you are twisted up like a knot or a pretzel completely drained, broken, and empty.
There is nothing more backbreaking than trying to please every single person, especially when it comes to our families. Matter-of-fact, you cannot fully help or serve anyone, including family, friends, or colleagues at work, if you are not taking time for yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed, chances are you are doing too much for everyone else while ignoring yourself.
It takes a lot of strength to stand on your own, away from the crowd, and forging your own path. There will be individuals who will not like the fact that you are no longer compliant and submissive and they will do everything to bring you back in line to obey them. In other words, they will try to force you to be their lapdogs.
Why? Because you now have nothing for yourself. How could you, you were too busy trying to please everyone else while ignoring yourself. STOP! You will drive yourself insane if you are constantly trying to please everyone.18. Learn to give (serving, helping, nurturing, teaching.)
We live in a narcissistic culture that prides itself on selfishness and greed. But we all know deep down that happiness comes from giving out. Even the wealthiest know the satisfaction that comes from giving to others. We all have talents, gifts, and abilities that we can use to bring happiness to others. Whatever you do in life, do it with your whole heart, like you are doing it for a king. Whether it is a profession like nursing or teaching or engineering or a menial job like garbage collecting or cleaning houses, give totally of yourself. You are important to the overall scheme of this world. All parts are needed for it to flow smoothly. What would we do without people willing to collect our garbage?
How would we survive without those dedicated to cleaning the washrooms? Recognize that your role is important, valued, and essential. Then give freely.
Giving freely does not mean enabling. Each person must learn his or her own lessons. If we jump in too quickly and save someone from the consequences of their behavior, we are enabling. That is not helpful or needed.
Giving freely also does not mean martyrdom. Give out of a pure heart, not from a place of resentment or obligation.
19. Learn to forgive.
As we live in a diverse world, complete with differing cultures, religious beliefs, and traditions, there is one universal act each human performs on a daily basis. Even though each of us knows what forgiveness is, it is learning how to forgive which proves to be the most difficult task to encompass wholeheartedly, especially when one has been hurt through another person’s acts. Yet, even in its simplicity, forgiving others or learning how to forgive yourself, is a strong attribute for each human to learn.
Learning to put past grievances behind you is difficult, yet achievable. There are no hidden secrets as to how it can be accomplished, but almost a sense of belief that one can move on and put the hurt and pain behind them. Learning to forgive the small things like a friend being late for a luncheon is an easier act to forgive as opposed to forgiving a loved one for breaking trust. Even though these two examples are poles apart, the act of forgiveness is one and the same.
Forgiveness is a process that is individually based. There are no set criteria which one must follow. Some say the art of forgiveness is simple and that ‘forgetting’ the hurt is what proves to be more difficult. If we as humans learn to treat others how we want to be treated, we may just discover healthier relationships between us all. Remember learning how to forgive people does not happen overnight. It is something that will become easier and easier as you learn to forgive people who hurt you.
20. Trust your intuition and go with your gut.
Intuition is the most valuable tool you have. Intuition is also known as trusting your vibes, your instincts, or your gut feelings, it really is a great way to get some direction in life.
Intuition is positive knowledge that doesn’t come from the mind, it comes from your gut. The same neurotransmitters which are in your brain are also in your gut so you need to listen to these feelings too. We are all genetically programmed to have intuition, everyone can develop it and learn to trust and tune into it.
When arriving at a decision based it on your intuition and guts, live on purpose and trust your intuition. Your gut instinct will very rarely let you down.
21. Change is bound to happen.
The Greek word metamórphosis means, “changed or transformed.” When individuals accept that change is a natural part of their lives, they cease resisting it and are thus transformed.
Change is the effect of both natural and artificial forces playing out upon our lives. From the time we are created our minds are molded in the construct of good and bad, pleasant and uncomfortable experiences. Life is constantly reforming itself to the forces impacting upon it so that each entity attempts to exist by recreating, evolving, and adapting to the changing environment.
We live in the midst of constant change. At times, we resist letting go of familiar ways. But change and disorder create new possibilities. They promote growth. They challenge us to adapt.
We have to be resilient, and this is the ability to adjust to change. This lesson makes people do everything possible to keep everything in their life on an even keel. They believe in order to succeed they need to keep everything from changing. They often have a hard time making any decision at all that would involve change. It doesn’t always appear to be a problem in their lives until they are faced with drastic change that they realize they are unprepared for it.
Individuals must learn to accept change. Whether they realize it or not, most people currently in the workplace grew up in a dynamic environment characterized by change. Change brings many opportunities for all of us to be better. Why not grab that opportunity. Let us realize change is the meaning we subscribe to an event that makes the difference in our experiences and hence in our lives.
Conclusion
We are all here learning important life lessons, evolving into wiser, purer human beings. As we learn our lessons we feel happier, lighter, more expanded, yet more humble. We recognize that everyone is on a journey to wholeness and enlightenment and that journey is not easy but fraught with obstacles, hindrances, and problems, big and small.
It is in the overcoming of these things that we move on to another level.
You can become happier, healthier, and more successful when you make a commitment to learning important life lessons. Life experiences teach us so many life lessons. Discover the secrets to become a better and more successful you with tips not only to maximize your personal growth and development but make you happier and more content.
Which life lesson is your favorite? Or do you have another life lesson you want to share?
